#MCE- Military Life & Long Term relationships
Some of you may already know that my husband is in the US Navy and lately he's been traveling more which leads to less communication and quality time. Since he’s been away, it’s been challenging for us to spend time together and reconnect in all areas of our relationship; Physically, mentally, and spiritually.
In the beginning it was an adjustment, and everyday we are still learning how to find that balance between us being apart, and still getting the attention necessary to keep the relationship alive. We all know that long distance relationships or being a military wife is def not for everyone, better yet many people believe that relationships like this typically never work (Married or not). But although it may be tough, they have their own surprises too.
Below are three ways that has helped my hubby and I stay connected even with distance between us.
1. Focus On You Sis!
During this time apart, let this be the moment for you to focus on yourself. Think of it as a chance to get yourself together again and re-discover those hobbies and passion projects, or create new ones! At times, we get so caught up in whats best for the relationship itself, and loose sight of our own personal wants and needs. (which is totally normal). But with doing this, we tend to loose ourselves and forget that as individuals, we're important too! The more time you have away from bae, the more time you give to yourself to help become the better version on yourself. You'll be surprised on the outcome and trust me, every guy loves a women who can do bad all by herself.
2. Date Nights is Your New Best Friend
If it wasn't for date nights, I don't know where my relationship would be like today. Even if you're not in a long distance or military life- type of relationship, date nights are crucial to help keep that spice alive. What has helped Darien and I, is scheduling days and times to explore and spend time together when he is at home from sea. Whether it's dinner and a movie, late night walks with the dog, or even going out for a long night of bar hopping, continuing to reminder each other of why you fell in love and how much fun you have with each other, will help create longevity within the relationship. Don't forget to laugh with each other, talk about old times, and kiss just because his lips are looking juicy haha. Oh and after going out, a little Netflix and chill ain't never hurt nobody! ;-) Nevertheless, I always tell him date me like we dated when we first got together and at least try to stay in that infatuation stage for as long as we can.
3. What are Your Long-Term Goals?
This is a conversation that NEEDS to happen before saying 'Yes I'll be your bae". You have to know what is the end goal of this power couple duo. Are we going to forever be living apart? And what steps are we taking to make sure our life is set up once we are officially back together again.. Where will we be living? Will we be trying to make some babies when were reunited? What is the plan?? These are all questions that need to be asked and answered from both parties before agreeing to the relationship. Because then you have to ask yourself, "Whats the point?"
Before my husband joined the military, we sat down multiple times and created a plan that worked for both of us. We both knew we wanted a house and kids, he wanted to finish his masters, and I wanted to reach a level of success and satisfaction with my personal brand. Although life throws you curve balls and things change, creating a plan helped cope with the sacrifice of being apart, accepting the time we've had by ourselves, and the confirmation that my husband and I are moving forward together. This is literally setting up your future so that its not only beneficial for yourself an your relationship, but also to make sure your children are coming into this world with a solid foundation. It does't event have to be to this extent. The point is to make sure that you both are on the same page. As we get older, we start to value our time more and more. So make sure the man in your life fits the puzzle you've created for yourself.
Nobody's says its going to be easy, but hey relationships period are not easy! But establishing what works best for you and yours will help the journey be a little easier than expected.
Comment your thoughts below and let me know what works for you and your relationship! Please like and share if you like this post!
Also follow me on Instagram at @MariahDarsha.